Your Windows Are The … Uh … Windows To The Soul Of Your House

July 11, 2008

Being that I was raised by hippies, which, in the world of home decor, is akin to being raised by wolves, I know nothing about window treatments. Window treatments is the fancy way to say drapery, except that every time I say “drapery” I think of Monty Python’s “shrubbery” and the quest to find the perfect shrubbery, which would allow the King’s party to pass through the woods. But after the King et al. had found a very lovely shrubbery, the Knights Who Say Ni demanded another one, to be placed alongside the first one. It was a fool’s quest. The King would never find the perfect shrubbery. Because there was no such thing.

My own quest for the perfect shrubbery-drapery has been somewhat Pythonesque, because really, how hard can it be to buy curtains, but as it turns out, it’s very hard. For me. Like almost every home decor decision I try to make, there are ISSUES here, people. Color. Style. Cost. Not to mention the whole philosophical aspect of do we even really need new drapes, when the ones we have are fine. Except that they don’t keep out the sun. Which, okay, that’s a desire, not so much a need. And seeing as I am presently, shall we say, between jobs – are drapes something I should even be thinking about when there are other things like gas and food to consider? But what are we doing here, on this planet, if it’s just about the necessities? Is life just about what we can scrounge up? What we can get by with? Shouldn’t we aspire to more? Shouldn’t we want to surround ourselves with beauty and luxury? Isn’t that part of the eternal dance of the soul? Do we not have an innate desire within us to experience joy and pleasure, and if that means nice drapes, isn’t it an affront to the universe to reject such adornment?

Does anyone else struggle with these BIG QUESTIONS? Or do you just go out and buy drapes?

I’ve read that drapes are like the jewelry to your room’s outfit. I guess the rug is like the pants, and maybe the couch is the cute top, and then the drapes are like the earrings. But not like that cheap costume jewelry that you change depending on the color outfit you’re wearing. They’re more like the classic pair of diamond studs that you can wear with anything. Mmmmm. Diamond studs. Add those to the list of things I want. Cause I’m a classy kind of gal. And no cubic zirconias, thank you very much. Because they are NOT just like the real thing. And that is why I want the nice Thai silk drapes from Restoration Hardware, not the polyester ones from Sears. Not that there’s anything wrong with Sears. But there is a difference. The Thai silk from Restoration looks nicer, I’m sorry. It’s true. The drapes have substance. I like the way they hang.

Of course, there’s still the issue of color. Which means it’ll be like, another two years before I buy drapes. Maybe I’ll just go buy a shrubbery instead.


One comment

  1. This is hilarious. I can’t stop reading your blog today, even though I’m supposed to be doing a hundred other things.

    From now on, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to hear the word “drapery” without thinking of “shrubbery” and the Knights Who Say Ni. -Julia

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